Wait, What? Not uncommon dialogues that we’ve all experienced that involve Selective Hearing.
July 7, 2010
Shay’s: the Celebrity Doppelganger Sighting
“Oh my god, Lisa, don’t look now but I think Ron Jeremy is sitting at the table next to us,” I muttered in a loud whisper out of the side of my mouth.
“Who? What?”, Lisa answered back.
I covered the right side of my mouth and dramatically mouthed “Ron Jeremy”, [...]
Emmy’s Alter Ego Shows Up to Talk Poetry
June 21, 2010
…if there is anything that the Spanish culture is lacking, it is not in their ability and excuses to party. Hell, if you stub your toe they’d probably name a day after it & have some sort of parade. And it’d be a magical parade because everything in Spain is magical.
EmmyEm: Crime Reporter
May 7, 2010
The previous afternoon, Lisa & I had discussed the “broken window” theory–the idea that the morale of a community declines when there are broken windows in the area. This could be because people are less inclined to care or that criminal activity seems like a better idea in these “broken down” neighborhoods. I bring up the theory with my drinking cohorts. “How might our own personal crimes elevate, if we let them?” I ask.
Did I ever tell you about the time I accidentally smoked PCP? (or the alternate title to that book I’ll probably never write)
April 7, 2010
my dad has always encouraged us to be open with him about whatever…his attitude has always fallen on the at-least-they’re-talking-about-it side and since he’s a pharmacist, who better to ask about pharmacology?…also, yes, that bowl was made out of aluminum foil and yes, I did steal a screen out of my bathroom faucet, and yes, my mother was completely perplexed as to why the water from that sink sprayed everywhere for a good five years…
Making History
March 7, 2010
One of my closest friends, one of two who I symbolically tattooed on my back with a star in December, fell 8 feet straight on to her head and broke her neck while practicing aerial dancing. She received hours of emergency surgery & was sent to the best rehabilitation facility in the US. With one telephone call from her mother, the (selfish) world as I knew it was shattered. One of the two most dependable, stable people in my life lost one of her loves (as a performance artist) and her ability to move her appendages.
Awakening, Schmawakening
January 7, 2010
You see it all the time in the movies (inspirational and romantic comedies) and read it over and over in James Joyce’s The Dubliners….Awakenings. That grand epiphany that magically falls on a fictional or based-on-a-true-story (which is clearly dramatized) character and so enlightens them that their lives are never ever the same again. While [...]
Six Seasons with Reasons Why One Ain’t So Bad a Number to Do
December 7, 2009
Turns out the reality series, “Emmy Em Tries Her Hand at Dating Again”, plays out much like the shows we watch to entertain ourselves. The recurring themes obvious and, generally, we all know what to expect and how the end result will present itself, but there are subtle nuances from show to show. One other tendency of Season Finales is that they rarely repeat themselves. Each at least a little unique, another parallel to the endings of relationships (or lackthereof).
Oh I Could be Condemned to Hell for Every Sin but Littering
November 7, 2009
Within 5 minutes of finding out what November’s theme is, I knew exactly how to approach this subject. How better to write about the Seven Deadly Sins than to partake in them & document said sinning? Which is just what I did. On Halloween. At a party. With a whole [...]
Four Cousins and a Funeral
October 7, 2009
Upon turning on the huge portable light-providing gadget we discovered that we were staring a fallen tree in the face. Like, the branches were literally 3 feet from the front of the golf cart and at our eye-level and ready to do some serious damage to our peepholes.
It Ain't Easy Being Green
September 7, 2009
Mary was a fanatic about the environment for no reason other than it was her cause du jour. Mary used to hold off on putting out recyclables until the morning of Recycle Day in order to make sure that people who walked around the neighborhood looking for bottle and can deposits didn’t get to it first and it would be properly disposed of in a recycling truck, which she’d done no research on or knew where, exactly, it went.
Leaving on a Jet Plane
August 23, 2009
Last Tuesday I left for a week-long vacation in Seattle. The first “vacation” I’d taken in almost 3 years to the day. While out west, I hiked, ate, drank, was pushed to my mental safety limit by my brother, drank, practiced tour jetes and arabesques on a beach, drove around Seattle in the [...]
About this author
Emmy Em likes ice cream, ballet, epidemiology, crossword puzzles, prime numbers, and dancing around her apartment to The Talking Heads in gold, sparkley hot pants. She does not like bell peppers or people who eat the last of your food and don't replace it.