Hi. You’ve reached Matt. I am not in the office right now, because I am out doing something that requires me to not be in my office, while you are on some PC somewhere surfing the internet, and stumbled across this site somewhere between XTube and TMZ. Or was it a diversion from the pictures [...]
I can’t speak for anyone else, but I am a big fan of selective hearing. It’s what lets me tolerate a lot of people whose foreheads I might normally want to decorate with a festive mattock (it’s like a pick axe.) There’s only so many times I can hear the same excuse, or complaint. There’s [...]
Also in my target reticle (stolen from Sarah Palin who usually aims them at liberal elected officials and Russian turkeys) is Madonna. Now, I am a thirtysomething gay man, which means by Judy’s law, I have to love Madonna. And I do. But- and this is a big but (as big as Shak’s titties are tiny)- what is the deal with “I Love New York” off her otherwise nifty “Confessions on a Dance Floor” album.
I am personally waiting for “First Openly Bisexual Jewish Black Breast Cancer Survivor to Win an Olympic Gold in Curling.” But until that day, I will have to settle for “First Black Mayor of ____” and “First Openly Gay Guido in the North End.” It’s comical to a point that acknowledgment of the “real” accomplishments seem unnecessary. And is it? Are we really in a space where we need to highlight each and every minute accomplishment of someone simply because they might have a characteristic different from a greater percentage of the population?
That sounds harsh…it’s more like when the Aunt on that Will Smith show came back after a season break played by another actress.
Which brings me to green ethics… A sound concept, but much like the aforementioned politically correct, it’s really just a fad. While noble, causes like this that give themselves catch phrases only handicap themselves, and open themselves up for revolts and parody.
There’s an old and painfully cliched concept I fine myself leaning toward quite often in my profession in the human services field- “thinking outside the box.” It involves conceiving of doing things contrary to the way that others might expect you to do it. But I am going to go out on a limb to [...]
MattyB created post its. He also created raspberry danish, Cheetos, and Diet Pepsi.
MattyB is known for his impressions of Hannibal Lecter, Clarice Starling (Jodie Foster), and Mumm-Ra from the Thundercats. He's also known to be very annoying.
During the 4th minute of the 4th hour of the 4th day of the 4th month of the 4th year of a new decade, MattyB is believed to be more powerful than Gumby and Hercules combined.
MattyB is a sad clown with a knife wound in his head. It's self inflicted, because MattyB hates clowns more than Dick Cheney decapitating koala bears.