July 21, 2010
Given my mother’s encouragement, my father’s diffidence, and an apparently overwhelming acceptance by the small community where my parents had landed after it was no longer “dope” to live out of your van, my voices and I should have thrived during the shift from adolescence to pubescence. But what is tweendom without rebellion? I locked myself in a room with Ted, Darby, and Mr. K. and ordered them to stop influencing me. “I’m normal now,” I told them, “but you’ll always be in my heart.”
Filed under: Selective Hearing by rosie
2 Comments »
June 16, 2010
Don’t pick your nose. Seriously. We’re not sitting in traffic. We’re not old men sitting in our worn out recliners. We’re in a POETRY READING. You may not know this, considering you are the nose-picking type and all, but poetry is actually sort of a sophisticated thing.
Filed under: Pabulum & Poetry by rosie
No Comments »
May 3, 2010
Dear Mr. Noonan: I have some of your mail here. Apparently, you’ve won $10,000 dollars!!–all you have to do is call 555-432-8789. Also, a brand new car waits for you at the dealership down the street. Oh, and if you’re in need of a job, there’s a fantastic work-from-home opportunity that you don’t want to miss out on!!
Filed under: Small Crimes by rosie
9 Comments »
April 21, 2010
“Hey, remember that time we died? That was awesome.”
Filed under: Intoxication by rosie
15 Comments »
March 21, 2010
As an official product of the 80’s, there are many people, places, and things to which I could attribute my MONUMENTAL success.
{read: not a homeless heroin addict…yet}
A plethora of life lessons were bestowed upon my young mind in the 80’s. We learned mechanical things are dangerous and may blow up (Challenger or Chernobyl anyone?), [...]
Filed under: Of Historical Significance by rosie
8 Comments »
February 21, 2010
Now that I have your attention, truth be told, I am in fact, NOT in a relationship with Mr Poopoopachu. But it got you reading now didn’t it? Wow, you little voyeurs, you.
In no way is it a dynamic revelation that social networking has changed present day society as we know it. (Don’t believe me? [...]
Filed under: "It's Complicated", 2010 by rosie
8 Comments »
January 21, 2010
You suddenly realize that in your eyes, pregnant women are no longer, bloated, complaining, puke machines; they have morphed into beautiful, sexy, humans with super powers. And you start to wonder, “Why don’t you have super power?”
Filed under: Awakenings, Monthly Featured by rosie
19 Comments »
December 21, 2009
Luckily, in the short { give or take 30} years Rosie has been on this earth, she has learned — when someone you love deeply dies…eventually you can move on…but not without a little work.
Filed under: Season Finale by rosie
15 Comments »
November 21, 2009
by you reading this one of us is breaking this
Patient: Thank you for fitting me in today, really. I hate to use the word “emergency” because of course this infers, well to be crude, me slicing my wrists, or downing a bottle of pills. Which don’t get me wrong if we don’t figure this [...]
Filed under: {Seven Deadly} Sins by rosie
6 Comments »
October 21, 2009
If you are really good {or really bad–it’s a “half-whiskey-glass empty/full” kinda thing} at some point you, like me, will inevitably face a room full of family, friends, coworkers, angry ex-boyfriends/dope dealers you used to live with, etc for the BIG “I”.
Filed under: Mischief Making by rosie
4 Comments »
September 21, 2009
Are you planning an event, but also need to keep it green? Let Rosie, an experienced, environmentally friendly, and–might I add–quite sexy event planner tell you how.
Filed under: Green Ethics by rosie
3 Comments »
*Rosie Frompser is on a mission to prove to the world that cooking can be delicious. Whether you’re preparing for a dinner party to be held in true eco-style, or you’re hosting a few of your guy friends over for a laidback night of Lifetime Television watching, “Chef” Rosie has the ideas you’ll need to make it successful. When she’s not cooking, or writing about cooking, Rosie dons her high-heeled boots and heads out on the town. But, after a few dirty martinis and several promising visits to the men’s room, she usually ends up going home alone to finish off that plate of brownies she started that morning at breakfast and has since been munching on all day.